You most certainly know this famous quote by Oscar Wilde “the only way to get rid of a temptation is to give in” but do you know what happened to his character Dorian GRAY who put it into practice? Well, the latter just let himself be influenced by these “beautiful words” of a toxic person and concluded a Faustian pact: he gave his soul to the devil in favor of futile joys and the worst sins, and he has finally bitten your fingers. Do not give in to your impulses just like him and be aware of the benefits of staying true to your darling. You must not see fidelity as a duty but as a guarantor of true love that gives meaning to your life.
1. Personal satisfaction
“The most respectable of feelings is that of fidelity” (Emile DE GIRARDIN)
Nowadays, the temptation is active, the consumer society pushes to vice, especially with the emergence of extra-marital dating sites. Thus, as soon as a grain of sand darkens the relationship, the frustrated and impatient individual is pushed hard by his primary instinct to go to console himself in other arms. Sure, it’s so much simpler.
Being faithful has become a personal will that requires inner strength and maturity. For that, a work on oneself is necessary: the ego and its puerile considerations must be put aside, to be faithful it is above all to take responsibility, to manage oneself own neuroses or the problems inherent to the couple: to succumb to a temptation, being seduced, everyone can do it, we do not derive any glory from it. On the other hand, not to deviate from your line of conduct is to be faithful above all to oneself, not to be lost and therefore to respect oneself and consequently to respect the other.
By succeeding in this “challenge” to remain faithful, one feels stronger and free because one resists social pressure. We are proud of ourselves, and we increase both the love we have for ourselves and the love we feel for his (her) partner.
Our advice: accept this empty moment that you feel during tensions in the couple and communicate with your partner. The discomfort dissipated, you will feel strengthened to have overcome this test rather than having yielded to the facility, which is often heavy consequences.
2. True love
“The only thing that can make love a wonderful feeling is fidelity to death” (André MAUROIS)
According to Paul CARDEL: “Fidelity is when love is stronger than instinct.”
Beyond the end of the settlement with oneself, maturity is born, and one considers oneself loved differently. So yes, let’s face it, the butterflies in the belly, the passion of the first moments have disappeared but have given way to a deep tenderness, an unconditional love, devoid of personal interests: “When we love someone for his physique it’s not loving, but attraction. When we love someone for their intelligence, it’s not loving, but admiration. When we love someone for his money is not love, but profit. But when we love someone, and we do not know why. This is love.”
Fidelity is a personal and mutual commitment that allows us to build strong relationships over time to make real love come true: we are soothed, we can be comfortable being ourselves in the relationship because we do not feel judged by the other. Thus, we want the happiness of the beloved, and all our actions go in this direction. And it is this benevolence that gives full meaning to love and, by extension, to existence itself.
3. Mutual development
Fidelity involves time and patience so that a conspiracy and a relationship of trust can be established in the couple:
“Unlike love, which can be born instantly, complicity takes a long time to mature” (Jean AMADOU)
Over the days, we learn to know and accept the way the other works, its history, we begin to share his joys and sorrows, we discover his tastes, and all this brings us closer to the beloved to do not do as would say more than one.
When this step is taken, fluid and constructive communication are born. As a result, we have more opportunities to reach our ideal of a couple which favors our fulfillment: we feel fulfilled at all levels: emotional (we feel loved), sexual (we are at comfortable with each other, and we can realize our fantasies and hers), family (we share a common story), professional (we want to surpass ourselves thanks to the communicative energy of the couple). The beloved is not only a lover, but he becomes a friend, and in a word: our half.
We understand each other without saying a word, we feel the emotions of others, we sometimes adopt the same language, and we laugh at the same nonsense and especially. We evolve, and we mature together!
Moreover, fidelity expands the couple because it allows them to realize common projects: “All alone we go faster, together we go further” (African proverb)
4. A precious shield
First of all, being faithful allows for emotional stability and emotional security.
Then, thanks to the synergy of the couple, fidelity can be stronger and feel supported by the harsh trials of life.
Then, being loyal to each other protects us from sexually transmitted diseases that we might inadvertently catch with another person and as a result, protects our partner.
And finally, being faithful avoids serious problems such as the guilt of having deceived the other, the loss of self-esteem and that of our half and a brutal separation with heavy consequences.
Our advice: Always listen to your partner, give priority to the couple, and always keep the flame. And finally, as Epicurus said, “Concerning every desire, one must ask one question: what advantage will result if I do not satisfy it?”
